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Funny quotes and sayings

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Even on the highest throne you sit on your own butt.
Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

I have great faith in fools. My friends call it selfconfidence
Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

I Love you, you Love me, we can make a family!

In God we trust, all others must pay cash.

It is a good thing that we don't get as much government as we pay for.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Don't eat yellow snow!


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Nobody is perfect. My name is nobody.

On his dunghill is the rooster king.
Publilius Syrus (B.C.)

Roses are red, violetts are blue, god made me beautiful, but what happend to you?

Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.
Nicholas Chamfort (1741-1794)

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)


find more funny things: Quotes about Chuck Norris and biker quotes