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Chuck Norris Jokes

Jokes, Facts and Quotes about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. He goes killing!

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's the reason why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris killed a rhino with its own horn.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using pokemon cards.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.